Welcome to The Educating Parent Beverley Paine's archive of articles about homeschooling and unschooling written over a period of 30 plus years

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Children are Humans and Deserve Respect

by Melita Gee

Why do we expect kids to give adults greater respect than we as adults are prepared to give each other?

We punish them for the behaviour that they are seeing displayed around them every day; for behaviour that we are showing them; even for reciprocating how they have been treated - by other adults, not necessarily us as parents.

There is something fundamentally wrong with regarding another human being as less than equal because of their age. We all know this, yet children are being treated this way every day.

"Don't question me!"
"Don't give me any lip, young lady/man!"
"Show some respect! I'm the adult here."
"Do as you're told because you're just a child."

Every question or opinion a child has (usually voiced when they think they are being treated unfairly) that is contrary to an adults supposed position of authority is treated as back-talk, rebelliousness, disobedience, disrespect. This disregard for another person's feelings and point of view on the grounds of:

"We must not let children get out of control."
"We must show them who is boss."
"They must learn to obey without question. Even when they believe we are wrong."
"You will do it because I said so!"

And we all are taught, and learn, these lessons well IN SCHOOL! IT IS THE HEIGHT OF ARROGANT DISRESPECT.

Our reasons for discipline MUST make logical sense in relation to how we want to be treated by other adults in our society. Every other reason fits into the above category.

Childhood should be a time where we can make the most mistakes safely. When MORE grace and respect is given because they are children - not less. Familiarity doesn't have to breed contempt. But sadly, only the love of Christ can free us from this abusive cycle of disrespect. Because legalism is the root cause but true love is the cure.

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Beverley Paine with her children, and their home educated children, relaxing at home.

Together with the support of my family, my aim is to help parents educate their children in stress-free, nurturing environments. In addition to building and maintaing this website, I continue to create and manage local and national home educating networks, help to organise conferences and camps, as well as write for, edit and produce newsletters, resource directories and magazines. I am an active supporter of national, state, regional and local home education groups.

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Welcome to the World of Home Education
and Learning without School!

We began educating our children in 1985, when our eldest was five. In truth, we had helped them learn what they need to learn since they were born. I am a passionate advocate of allowing children to learn unhindered by unnecessary stress and competition, meeting developmental needs in ways that suit their individual learning styles and preferences. Ours was a homeschooling, unschooling and natural learning family! There are hundreds of articles on this site to help you build confidence as a home educating family. We hope that your home educating adventure is as satisfying as ours was! Beverley Paine

The information on this website is of a general nature only and is not intended as personal or professional advice. This site merges and incorporates 'Homeschool Australia' and 'Unschool Australia'.

The Educating Parent acknowledges the Traditional Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Owners, the Custodians of Australia, and pay our respects to Elders past and present and extend that respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people viewing this website.

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