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My Deschooling Story
Maria Bleakley, Feb 2022
For everyone that is starting their home education journey this year I thought I would add some value and perhaps some inspiration from my own experience. I've been doing this gig for 8 years now to my 14,12 and 10.
I pulled my oldest out of school then 6 yo and I did the thing that most of us do when we pull them out and that is replicate the system in my living room. I had the timetable, the books and unwilling kids.
I would call hubby every lunch hour for some reprieve .. I was pulling my hair out, stressed that the kids weren't doing as they were told..
I had 4 years of living in stress, conflict and disharmony within myself and my children. Later I found out the stress, conflict and disharmony had nothing to do with the kids but everything to do with the expectations and beliefs I held around education. It was detrimental to my connection with my kids.
I began asking myself a question.. there has to be a better way.
People tell you to deschool your kids but no one told me to deschool myself..
I had learnt the hard way.. I had had enough.. that was no way to live. I went through a whole new level of unlearning for me. Unlearning what I had been conditioned to believe through my own schooling.
Fast forward 4 years and we did unschooling. I had swung to the other side of the pendulum and it wasn't a good fit for our family. I wanted a middle ground.
We embraced self directed learning and I began honouring my kid's interests.
I burnt the books and replaced it with the Universe as our classroom and life as our resource. My kids went from passive learning to immersive, purposeful and experiential which is so powerful to witness. Their passion project on how to save the bees turned into their business and my oldest started another business mentoring other kids on mindset and resilience and speaking on global stages along side top entrepreneurs.
What I've learnt along the way is that I was trying to create something new with the same mindset that was creating old results. I had to become a whole new different person and unplug from society's expectations.
I let my kids lead the way and I haven't looked back since. I created the space for their innate genius and talents to unravel.
If you are just starting, I wish someone had told me there is a better bigger and brighter way to educate your kids... That education doesn't have to look a certain way, delivered a certain way and by a certain time. If I had known this, I would have saved years of heartache and pain.
If you take away anything from this post let it be this.. the moment we value connection and relationship over learning with our kids, is the moment we watch what is truly inside of themselves come alive.
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Beverley Paine with her children, and their home educated children, relaxing at home.
Together with the support of my family, my aim is to help parents educate their children in stress-free, nurturing environments. In addition to building and maintaing this website, I continue to create and manage local and national home educating networks, help to organise conferences and camps, as well as write for, edit and produce newsletters, resource directories and magazines. I am an active supporter of national, state, regional and local home education groups.
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We began educating our children in 1985, when our eldest was five. In truth, we had helped them learn what they need to learn since they were born. I am a passionate advocate of allowing children to learn unhindered by unnecessary stress and competition, meeting developmental needs in ways that suit their individual learning styles and preferences. Ours was a homeschooling, unschooling and natural learning family! There are hundreds of articles on this site to help you build confidence as a home educating family. We hope that your home educating adventure is as satisfying as ours was! Beverley Paine
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