© Beverley Paine

Assumptions are a trap and here are three good reasons to avoid them:

Assumptions create mistakes. They can quickly damage your relationships with others, especially your children. Outside of the family they can lead to conflict and confusion with your friends, and potentially damage your reputation.

If you catch yourself making an assumption - about anything - stop and check it out. Clarify what you mean, and then test your assumption to see if it's correct. Always seek to make your decision or plan your next move based on accurate information.

Assumptions promote small thinking because they can easily be converted to limiting beliefs. What is a limiting belief? Basically, it is any belief that limits you from reaching your full potential... "He has never used oil paints before, he won't be able to paint the picture." "I am never going to make it across the pool." "She didn't complete Book 2, she can't handle that level of work." You definitely don't want to buy into assumptions like these. Think big and think positive! "He'll quickly work out how to apply the paint to get the effect he wants - he can always ask someone." "We'll try her with floaties if she doesn't feel confident." "Let her try, and if she doesn't get it we'll do some revision together."

Assumptions create your future. Did you know that your assumptions create your reality? They are preconceived thoughts that we have about ourselves and others. Say or think them often enough and they become beliefs. Emotions arise from our thoughts and emotions dictate our behavior. So if you want to change your future, start changing your thoughts. Experience how you feel emotionally with each passing thought. Change your attitude to whatever it is your are thinking but changing your emotional feedback. Physically smile. This will help you think positively. Think the best of everyone and every situation. Sometimes you may be wrong, but think about how optimistic your world can be if you only assume positive outcomes.

The next time you catch yourself making an assumption, challenge yourself. Commit to getting to the bottom of why you think the way you do, finding out if there is any truth or correctness to your assumptions, switching to a more positive attitude by modifying your emotions. Think big and don't let the past dictate your future.

Your children will thank you for it!

see also Beverley's Questioning my assumptions, one way I learn