Help! My husband is against homeschooling.

FAQ answered by Beverley Paine

"I wish to homeschool but my husband is not supportive of the idea. I have been doing a lot of research and really feel it is the best way to go for us, but am having trouble convincing him!" Hannah

The decision to educate children at home goes beyond the academic and social world of learning, and becomes enmeshed in the total parenting experience.

Dads want guarantees their kids will turn out okay and that their wives will cope with all the extra work. They fear that abandoning what most parents have accepted without question - traditional schooling - will result in failure. They take their responsibility as fathers very seriously. You need to understand those fears and address them. The quickest way I've found to convince dads is to get them talking to other dads, especially at homeschool camps and activities. Seeing that other dads are normal blokes and that their children are normal too - that really helps! Networking also gives both parents a chance to meet older home educated kids, or better still, young home educated adults.

The following answers to the above question come from Beverley Paine's Homeschool Australia FAQ group http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HomeschoolAustraliaFAQ archives:

"Most husbands are unwilling to believe homeschooling will work, and worry that their wives won't cope, but when faced with what will happen to their children's intellect, free spirit, talents and abilities in the one-size-fits-all ineffective and unaccountable school system they think again."

"I put it to my husband that I wanted to give up university, travel around Australia in a caravan, and homeschool the kids. He agreed to what he perceived as the lesser evil, homeschool the kids!"

"Even my hubby came around to it when he noticed the change in our children, and he even commented in the positive about little stuff like how he liked not having to get up early to have them at school on time, lack of nagging from teachers, overall enthusiasm children now had and the fact we weren't locked into their school hours and we could go anywhere/anytime according to our desires."

"The other thing I did was talk about how his natural ability with the kids was teaching them so much."

Wendy Preisnitz's book Challenging Assumptions on Education http://www.naturallifebooks.com/books/Challenging_Assumptions_in_Education.htm is a compelling and convincing read on why not to send children to school. It's not a long book and really appeals to left-brain thinkers.

Dads also seem to relate easily to anything written by John Taylor Gatto. If they don't like reading, why not buy a copy of the 2007 National Home Education Conferences series of DVDs http://hea.asn.au/HEAShop.asp#NHEDDVD ? The dads in the audience were nodding their heads during Gatto's speeches. Understanding why schools aren't working for so many children and why it doesn't have a future and is holding kids back, helps most dads come around to considering giving home education a try. A couple of Aussie homeschooling dads who regularly write about their experiences are Arun, who blogs on The Parenting Pit www.theparentingpit.com , and Bob Collier, who produces the excellent The Parental Intelligence Newsletter www.parental-intelligence.com .

Homeschool Dads www.homeschooldads.com is geared specifically to fathers who homeschool or who are considering homeschooling. Although this is an American site there are lots of inspiring articles, resources and message boards - just for dads!

Beverley Paine's Answering Objections to Homeschooling www.alwayslearningbooks.com.au sets out possible answers to dozens of questions we commonly face, including many that fathers (or their families) might ask when considering home education for the first time.

Pat Farenga, long term supporter of home education, produces a regular newsletter - in this issue he explores How to Handle Homeschool Skeptics, with a few responses by home educating fathers.