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A young homeschooling mother wrote and told me about her son who had just caught the reading bug. He was picking it quite easily and his confidence had grown to the point that he thinks he can read books that his mother considered too ambitious for him. At this point he would become frustrated, but refuse help with reading, or to have the book read to him. The mother was worried she would destroy the child's confidence if she pushed...

Let him do what he wants at his pace. Roger spent an hour one day looking a page I definitely knew he couldn't read when he was six. It didn't do him any harm. Just make sure your son has access to lots of different types of reading matter at all levels.

I learned never to underestimate what's going on a person's head. We can't begin to know what your son is doing when he's looking at a page. Even he won't know all the processes going on. If he feels compelled to have a go, let him, but let him know that often you tackle things that you're not quite ready for and sometimes you feel disappointed you can't do what you want to right now, but it's good to know that simply trying is part of the journey to eventual accomplishment.

Think of some examples to help him understand and cope better with his frustration: for me, it is being impatient learning how to different computer programs. I want to use the program now, rather than wait until I know how to. Knowing how to use it takes time, usually doing tedious things I don't want, such as letting others help me with bits I don't understand. Accepting help graciously will get me to my goal faster.

John Dewey, educator and researcher wrote: "Give the pupils something to do, not something to learn; and the doing is of such a nature as to demand thinking; learning naturally results."

Your son has chosen this task or reading above his ability level as something to do - trust in Dewey's words. Learning will naturally result.

I love the way children naturally test their emerging abilities. If left alone to experiment and test without pressure to perform to another's expectation or arbitrary schedule all will be right.

The Practical Homeschooling Series booklet Learning to Love Reading is useful and reassuring inexpensive guide to the early learning to read years.

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Beverley Paine with her children, and their home educated children, relaxing at home.

Together with the support of my family, my aim is to help parents educate their children in stress-free, nurturing environments. In addition to building and maintaing this website, I continue to create and manage local and national home educating networks, help to organise conferences and camps, as well as write for, edit and produce newsletters, resource directories and magazines. I am an active supporter of national, state, regional and local home education groups.

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